--- title: "Don't Ask Questions that Start with \"If I Could\"" description: There are 5 kinds of questions all sellers should avoid. For example, don't ask questions that begin with this manipulative-sounding phrase. image: https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hubfs/232%20-%20Example.svg --- [Skip to content](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/dont-ask-questions#main-content) ![people first productivity solutions logo](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hs-fs/hubfs/people%20first%20logo%20xlarge-1.png?width=250&height=108&name=people%20first%20logo%20xlarge-1.png) - [Home](https://peoplefirstps.com) - [Leadership](https://peoplefirstps.com/leadership-program-design) Show submenu for Leadership - [The Leadership Challenge®](https://peoplefirstps.com/the-leadership-challenge) - [The Leadership Practices Inventory®](https://peoplefirstps.com/lpi) - [Supervisor Training](https://peoplefirstps.com/supervisor-training) - [Leaders at Every Level](https://peoplefirstps.com/leaders-at-every-level) - [Leadership Coaching](https://peoplefirstps.com/leadership-coaching) - [Leadership Program Design](https://peoplefirstps.com/leadership-program-design) - [Teams](https://peoplefirstps.com/executive-teams) Show submenu for Teams - [Executive Teams](https://peoplefirstps.com/executive-teams) - [Team Building](https://peoplefirstps.com/team-building) - [People Practices](https://peoplefirstps.com/people-practices) - [Communication Skills](https://peoplefirstps.com/communication-skills) - [Trust at Work](https://peoplefirstps.com/trust-at-work) - [Personality Style](https://peoplefirstps.com/personality-style) - [Conflict at Work](https://peoplefirstps.com/conflict-at-work) - Personal Growth Show submenu for Personal Growth - [Soft Skills](https://peoplefirstps.com/soft-skills) - [Your Voice Matters](https://peoplefirstps.com/your-voice-matters) - [Emotional Intelligence](https://peoplefirstps.com/emotional-intelligence) - [1:1 Coaching](https://peoplefirstps.com/1-on-1-coaching) - Resources Show submenu for Resources - [The People First Leadership Academy](http://www.peoplefirstpotential.com) - [Connect2Lead Newsletter](https://peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead-newsletter) - [Books](https://peoplefirstps.com/books) - [Workshop Calendar](https://peoplefirstps.com/workshop-calendar) - [About](https://peoplefirstps.com/about) - [Contact](https://peoplefirstps.com/contact-us) Open main navigation Close main navigation - [Home](https://peoplefirstps.com) - [Leadership](https://peoplefirstps.com/leadership-program-design) Show submenu for Leadership - [The Leadership Challenge®](https://peoplefirstps.com/the-leadership-challenge) - [The Leadership Practices Inventory®](https://peoplefirstps.com/lpi) - [Supervisor Training](https://peoplefirstps.com/supervisor-training) - [Leaders at Every Level](https://peoplefirstps.com/leaders-at-every-level) - [Leadership Coaching](https://peoplefirstps.com/leadership-coaching) - [Leadership Program Design](https://peoplefirstps.com/leadership-program-design) - [Teams](https://peoplefirstps.com/executive-teams) Show submenu for Teams - [Executive Teams](https://peoplefirstps.com/executive-teams) - [Team Building](https://peoplefirstps.com/team-building) - [People Practices](https://peoplefirstps.com/people-practices) - [Communication Skills](https://peoplefirstps.com/communication-skills) - [Trust at Work](https://peoplefirstps.com/trust-at-work) - [Personality Style](https://peoplefirstps.com/personality-style) - [Conflict at Work](https://peoplefirstps.com/conflict-at-work) - Personal Growth Show submenu for Personal Growth - [Soft Skills](https://peoplefirstps.com/soft-skills) - [Your Voice Matters](https://peoplefirstps.com/your-voice-matters) - [Emotional Intelligence](https://peoplefirstps.com/emotional-intelligence) - [1:1 Coaching](https://peoplefirstps.com/1-on-1-coaching) - Resources Show submenu for Resources - [The People First Leadership Academy](http://www.peoplefirstpotential.com) - [Connect2Lead Newsletter](https://peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead-newsletter) - [Books](https://peoplefirstps.com/books) - [Workshop Calendar](https://peoplefirstps.com/workshop-calendar) - [About](https://peoplefirstps.com/about) - [Contact](https://peoplefirstps.com/contact-us) [All posts](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/all) October 12, 2016 # Don't Ask Questions that Start with "If I Could" [PFPS](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/author/rca532)  ·  2 minute read Just don't do it. Don't ask questions that seem manipulative or "sales-y" including the classic "If I could..." ![don't ask questions](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/IF-I-COULD-281x300.png?width=281&height=300&name=IF-I-COULD-281x300.png "dont-ask-questions") When the seller forgets or sets aside the intention to understand buyer needs, he or she asks different kinds of questions. It is apparent with those questions when the seller has become self-focused. Buyers describe these questions as low value, time-wasting, off-putting and offensive. To differentiate yourself from those kinds of sellers, don't ask questions that buyers will perceive in those negative ways. There are five kinds of manipulative-sounding questions sellers should avoid. If you hear yourself asking these types of questions, check your intention. Chances are a recalibration of strategic intention will help you get back on track with more productive and more effective questions. Over the next few weeks, we'll tackle all five "don't ask questions" here in the CONNECT2Sell Blog. We'll start with this cringe-worthy one because so many sellers ask it so often. #### **Please don't ask questions that begin with the words "If I could..."** This commonly used technique is an obvious set-up. The seller asks the buyer a question to fabricate a conditional commitment. Then the seller proceeds to deliver on the condition he or she set up for the buyer with an expectation the buyer will [![cover for site 2015](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/cover-for-site-20151-200x300.jpg?width=173&height=260&name=cover-for-site-20151-200x300.jpg)](https://www.amazon.com/DISCOVER-Questions-Get-You-Connected/dp/098973790X)proceed. When the sale is nearing the close or in response to a sales objection, this can be an effective technique. But sellers should avoid slipping into this technique earlier in the sales process when their intent is to understand buyer needs. These questions do not reveal needs. They only reveal buyer responses to if/then scenarios. There is a risk a buyer will feel manipulated at any stage of the sales process where this technique is used. Sellers should proceed with caution if they choose this phrasing or this technique. It is commonly used and is, therefore, familiar to buyers. Additionally, it feels like a trap and may cause buyers to put up their defenses. Sellers should evaluate their intent before using this technique, and they may wish to use a straightforward statement in these situations rather than setting up an if/then condition. Examples of “If I Could…” questions include: - If I could save you time, you’d be interested, right? - What if I could show you how to get out of that contract? - If I could match the price would you buy from me? In some cases, a straightforward statement will serve the seller better. Rather than asking a hypothetical “If I Could” question, a seller can choose a statement like “I believe I can match that price and eliminate your concern about moving forward.” This conveys the seller’s intention and more efficiently moves the sale forward. An assumptive statement like this is, in essence, what the seller who asks an “If I Could” question is telling the buyer. The subtle difference is there is no pretense of a condition and no perceived attempt to back the buyer into a corner. One buyer said it this way “If you can, just say so.” Check back next week or pick up a copy of [*DISCOVER Questions® Get You Connected*](https://www.amazon.com/DISCOVER-Questions-Get-You-Connected/dp/098973790X) to learn about the questions you should avoid. This is based on field research with buyers and packed with practical examples you can apply right away. [![FINAL-Mar-15-2023-09-52-13-4848-AM](https://2524398.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hub/2524398/hubfs/blog-image-uploads/FINAL-Mar-15-2023-09-52-13-4848-AM.png?width=1200&length=1200&name=FINAL-Mar-15-2023-09-52-13-4848-AM.png)](https://www.peoplefirstpotential.com/) The CONNECT2Sell Blog has been discontinued as our focus has shifted to leadership at every level. Research with buyers demonstrates that buyers respond favorably when sellers show up as leaders. If you'd like to step into your full potential as a leader (and boost sales!), take a look at our free and affordable courses on [https://www.peoplefirstpotential.com](https://www.peoplefirstpotential.com/) Share: [facebook-f icon](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/dont-ask-questions) [linkedin-in icon](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/dont-ask-questions) [twitter icon](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/dont-ask-questions) [envelope icon](mailto:?body=https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/dont-ask-questions) ## Related posts [![Graphic Showing Asking Question and Giving Examples](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hubfs/exampleeeee-1.svg)](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/question-based-selling) [CONNECT2SELL Blog](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/topic/connect2sell-blog) ### [Question-Based Selling Is Only As Good As the Questions Being Asked](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/question-based-selling) [![Graphic Showing an interview demonstrating Leading with Questions](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hubfs/interview.svg)](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/leading-with-questions-vs-asking-leading-questions) [asking questions](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/topic/asking-questions) ### [Leading with Questions VS Asking Leading Questions](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/leading-with-questions-vs-asking-leading-questions) [![](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/thumb-2b-300x240.png)](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/sellers-questions-about-questions) [CONNECT2SELL Blog](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/topic/connect2sell-blog) ### [Sellers: Do You Have Questions about Asking Questions?](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/connect2lead/sellers-questions-about-questions) ![PFPS](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hubfs/PFPS.svg) ### Deb Calvert, founder Putting PEOPLE First since 2005 [deb.calvert@peoplefirstps.com](mailto:deb.calvert@peoplefirstps.com) [PFPS Information](https://peoplefirstps.com/about) ![C2L](https://blog.peoplefirstps.com/hubfs/C2L.svg) ### Newsletter Sign-Up Join the CONNECT Community for weekly updates, free courses, and bonus content. 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