When it comes to giving praise and recognition, leaders often wonder what the magic number ought to be.
Should they use the old sandwich technique that says put negative feedback in between two pieces of positive feedback? Should they withhold encouraging feedback because it might cause others to stop working so hard? Should they reserve recognition for really big achievements so everyone knows it's truly special?
So here's what I advise when it comes to encouraging others.
First, there is no upper limit. You will not accidentally encourage anyone too much. You simply can't go overboard if your praise and recognition are genuine. There is absolutely zero risk of overdoing it when it comes to positive feedback.
Second, you must provide constructive feedback, too. No one will believe you if every word of feedback is positive. Since no one is perfect, and we each know our own faults and imperfections very well, we expect to get constructive criticism at times.
However, your constructive criticism does not need to be discouraging. You don't have to artificially sandwich it between two pieces of positive feedback in order for it to be encouraging. In order to make your constructive feedback encouraging to others, you must simply focus on the future and explain why this feedback matters.
Third, for those who really need some kind of number to measure quantity of feedback, here's the best research I know. It was conducted by Tom Rath and Donald O'Clifton and reported in their book, How Full Is Your Bucket.
The magic number, in the workplace, is what they called the PNR. This stands for positive to negative ratio of feedback. The minimum number is 3:1. That's three positive feedbacks for every one negative feedback given.
For some, it does help to keep a log until the habit of giving more encouraging and positive feedback is developed. Positive feedback is anything at all that encourages someone – praise, appreciation, recognition of what they have accomplished or attempted.
For others, it's important to first figure out what prevents you from giving more encouraging feedback more often. Here are some of the most common reasons we fail to be encouraging.
- You fear seeming "soft".
- You don't want to spoil others or give them too much confidence.
- You are concerned that they won't work as hard once you complement them.
- You've never needed that kind of encouragement and praise.
- You give them a paycheck. Isn't isn't that enough?
Sadly, these are all actual reasons given by leaders. But in my own observations the most common reason people don't give positive feedback and encouragement is simply this. It hasn't been taught oral modeled to them. So despite any justifications given, many leaders just don't know how to encourage.
Plenty of research explains why encouragement matters. Take the time to ask yourself what's in your way, and then go find the resources you need to learn to be more encouraging. Then just do it. You'll be surprised at the positive results yielded.
This blog post is part of the CONNECT! Community’s September focus on connecting by encouraging others. As a leader, you will be able to more effectively CONNECT2Lead when you actively and enthusiastically embolden and ennoble others. Subscribe to our weekly CONNECT2Lead Newsletter for special offers, content, and blog. To God be the glory!
